Sharing My Heart

I was looking for one thing in a drawer and found this pink heart instead.

That’s often how it goes, isn’t it? So often we think things are “supposed” to be one way, and they turn out to be very different.

As I held it in my hand, this love letter bubbled out of me.

With all the ups and downs, and unpredictability of life right now, it felt good for a few moments to dwell on love–not just our love for each other, but also a love for ourselves, just the way we are.

Wishing you a week filled with magical moments,

I Love You For…

I love you for your down days. I love those moments when you have the courage to cry out, reach out, and share that all is not well.

I love you for your moments of pause, moments when you take a deep breath, pivot and say, “I’ll try again.”

I love it when you let me in, when you allow me to be your reflection and your witness. What a gift it is to be there on the other side of the glass, separation between us as individuals, looking in.

I love you for your witness, the moments you witness me, the moments you really see me, really get me, the moments you allow ME to be ME–all of me, no expectations, no right or wrong, no judgement, no fear for yourself or what my journey says about you or yours.

I love you for your successes, those peaks of joy that are YOU–your brilliance, creativity, capacity for expressing all the potential that is in you and letting it all out, letting it all shine, letting me and others share in your joy.

I love you for your moods–all of them–your broody expressions of what it means to be human, deep dark crevices and peaks that reach up to the sky, where sunlight shines down.

I love you for your hormonal swings, outbursts, laughing out loud, and sharing even glimpses of the journey you are on and the things you are working on.

I love when you give me breathing space, enough to know I am loved, not dropping me altogether, but protecting my space from intersections, so I am free to do my own work, move, think, be myself and write my own story.

I love you for your bravery, those moments of putting yourself out there, telling a joke in a crowded room, showing up even if you don’t know if you are welcome, not taking others’ BS, whether it’s their opinions of who they think you are or should be, or their own hiding from themselves.

I love you for your courage to stand tall, in saying ‘this is who I am,’ your willingness to fail, fall flat on your face and have others judge the heck out of you, if that’s what it takes to be true to you.

I love your risk-taking in trying, writing, climbing, dancing, making music, riding, creating, leading, resting, running, walking, breathing, saying yes or saying no–your courage in doing whatever today feels scary but is really good for you, an expression of who you really are to an audience that may not exist, may not be able to hear, or may not care, and doing it anyway because YOU know YOU matter.

I love when you are silent, gaps growing between us, the silence that spreads out for miles and days and sometimes years that makes you mysterious. I love our gaps–growth-gaps I call them–because when we come back together, it’s different. While I may hate it and want you to be just like you were yesterday, I love it when you go away because that’s what you need to do, burying under the covers like a caterpillar in a chrysalis, disappearing from my reach while you change form.

I love all of this because this is who you are and who I am too. We are each on this journey of humanity together and when we intersect, even for a moment, one second, one interaction that is real and pure and authentic, whenever we show up exactly as we each are–highs, lows, present, retracting, reaching out or hiding away–I love it all because to me, it is all magical.

Copyright © 2020 Laurie Smith. All Rights Reserved. Photo credit: Laurie Smith

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