Who Are You, Really?
You have a unique gift.
It’s an old idea.
Simple.
But not easy.
Each of us has something to offer the world that no one else can.
We yearn to be seen, known and appreciated.
We want to have a positive impact.
But how?
It begins with reconnecting to our joy.
What Do I Mean By “Gift”?
We often think of “gift” as something tangible that can be put into words, summed up in a job description or label. The gift I’m talking about, however, is far more powerful than that. It’s not repeatable, and it’s something no one else has.
It’s your True Self, your essence, your unique energy, the tangible difference that happens when YOU walk in the room.
We don’t need anyone to teach us how to share our gift. It does take practice, however. And, in some cases, courage–courage to follow our inner voice.
Have You Ever Noticed This?
My husband and I were recently meandering the streets of Carmel, CA on a vacation when we happened upon a small art gallery. The painting in the window beckoned me inside.
The colors were so rich, so filled with life, I was instantly transported and moved.
As we walked through the gallery, filled with masterpieces all by the same painter, one in particular jumped out at me. I stood before it and just stared.
I could imagine the painter creating it, almost feel the artist’s emotions and mood. I felt like I knew him intimately just by seeing it. I was deeply moved.
While I knew nothing about him physically, I had a strong sense of him, who he was and how he was feeling at the moment of creating that specific painting, those specific drops of color that mesmerized me so.
It wasn’t his artistic ability that entranced me, although that was incredible. It was the way he was able to use his artistic skill and talents to share his true gift, his unique essence. No other artist could ever match that even if they tried.
Sounds Like a Gift To Me
I noticed the same thing when I was watching my friend Allison sing.
She wasn’t performing one of her beautiful self-written songs (although they are awesome). She wasn’t practicing for an upcoming performance.
She was standing in her garage, hands in the air, sharing with us an off-the-cuff song she sings in the morning to greet the day.
She was creating it in the moment. Her eyes were bright. She was laughing as she sang.
She wasn’t worrying about what we thought or whether it was perfect or even in tune. She was being herself, purely, imperfectly, beautifully herself as she let her unique gift–her true essence–shine through her in that moment.
What’s YOUR Unique Gift?
This unique energy–this gift–that we each have, can truly change the world.
It’s positive.
It’s loving.
It’s infinitely wise in a way that has nothing to do with how well-educated we are or how many life experiences we have had. It’s not something temporary, transient or changeable. It’s been with you since the day you were born.
But I don’t have to tell you. Because deep down inside, we each already know this.
While it’s difficult to put into words, most of us agree that our unique gift, this unrepeatable energy within each of us, clearly exists. Connecting with it and sharing it with others can change lives, most especially our own.
What The Experts Say
Researchers from many different practices including psychology, philosophy, sociology, neuroscience and spirituality have explored the idea of us having a unique inner gift or essence quite extensively.
It comes by many names: true self, inner spirit, inner voice, authentic self, core self, unique essence, energy within, essential self, inner light, presence, deeper nature, unique potential, wisdom within, the God within, the soft, still voice within, etc.
The psychoanalyst Winnicott described our true self, or unique gift, as spontaneous, creative and alive.
Sufi scholar Kabir Helminski described this inner energy as “a higher level of awareness…the way in which we occupy space, as well as how we flow and move.”
Kant, one of the most influential scholars in Western philosophy described our unique self or gift as “providing unity and connection to our thoughts, perceptions and all of our experiences.”
22 Reasons to Connect With Your Unique Gift
Research proves there are many benefits to getting to know, embodying and sharing your unique essence, your gift, who you really are:
- Improved overall well-being
- Greater sense of purpose and meaning
- Better health
- Higher ability to feel emotion
- Higher life satisfaction
- Higher self-esteem
- Greater resilience
- More self-compassion
- Greater empathy and respect for others
- More creativity
- Healthier and more intimate relationships
- Less depression resulting from self-silencing
- Better psychological health
- Less stress
- Better social connectedness
- Feelings of oneness or global connection
- Better outcomes recovering from grief
- More work satisfaction
- Authentic leadership traits such as integrity, humility and accountability
- Increased intuition and source of guidance
- Stronger sense of inner voice
- Leadership success and respect
- Greater willingness to take risks and be vulnerable
The ways in which we connect with and share our unique gift are as diverse as our gifts themselves. That’s the rub–figuring out, each of us in our own way, how we can best connect with, nurture and share our gift.
That’s what this site is all about.
Why Isn’t It Easy (Sometimes)?
We’ve all had experiences that have affected our comfort in sharing our unique gift with others. We may have beliefs or mental blocks getting in our way. Or, we may have been criticized or experienced emotional traumas that affect our own perceptions of our self-worth and our unique energy within.
We may need to let go of contradictory, internalized ideas, such as the common idea that our value, identity or purpose are somehow rooted in the following:
- What we do, for example our careers or virtuous acts;
- Who we know, for example our network or families;
- What we have, for example, possessions or money
- Traits or skills that are transient and/or dependent on physical health or capacities such as IQ, or capacities practiced and improved such as those related to a hobby or trade;
- Achievements we have earned or recognition we been given by outside sources, such as education, trophies or positive feedback.
It’s not always an easy journey, this one of finding our way back to ourselves and our intrinsic worth. It can bring up for us the fear of abandonment especially if it feels disloyal in some way to affiliations we have, or ideas we have been taught previously. The more we come to know ourselves through experiencing our unique essence, the easier the process of honoring, respecting and sharing our true selves becomes.
How To Find Your Unique Gift
It can be very helpful to have others on similar journeys who are supportive, accepting and able to create a safe space for us to do this work.
It also helps to have individual practices such as creative flow, meditation, creativity, journaling, introspection, exercise, spending time in nature, spiritual and therapeutic practices, etc., by which we can safely explore, experience and come to know our gift.
The more authentic we can be with ourselves in the privacy of our own lives, the easier it becomes to authentically share who we really are with others.
3 Keys To Sharing Your Gift
I have noticed three things that are almost always in place when we are truly connected with our unique essence, our gift.
- We are present, in the moment, completely focused on what we are doing without distraction.
- We are not worried about what other people are thinking (at least in that moment), we are just being and doing our thing.
- We are feeling generous in some way, our hearts are open, we are focused on receiving and giving all at the same time.
Interestingly, these three conditions are very similar to the qualities it takes to get into creative flow, an experience of optimal performance that has been studied extensively over the past 30 years, inspired by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s book entitled Flow.
One of the most interesting things about being in a state of flow is the sense of losing ourselves, yet after the flow activity or experience has finished, we have a greater sense of who we are and a greater sense of purpose and confidence. In my own life, I have seen that the more I experience creative flow, the greater the connection to this sense of who we really are becomes.
My Passion For This Work
I am passionate about exploring this idea of a unique gift, figuring out what helps us connect with ours and all the many different ways we can share it.
I love doing this work because I am on my own quest, my own inner journey of trying to connect with my own unique energy in my own way as much as possible in my life.
The Call For A Creative Community
I have found, when we are trying to figure something out in our own lives, it can be really help to do that in community. It can be really powerful to have a group of supportive, loving, like-minded people to bounce ideas off of, get support, celebrate successes and talk through challenges.
Community can be especially powerful when filled with other people who are busy doing their own work, experimenting with their own processes and open to sharing, supporting and growing.
I believe the simple act of connecting with our soul, our unique energy within, and finding little ways to share it authentically with others truly can create miracles. It can also help us to feel more generous, compassionate, kinder, nicer, happier, healthier, and more at peace.
