3 Life Lessons I Learned from My Kids
“We are all meant to shine, as children do.”
~Marianne Williamson
Before my husband and I had our kids, my life had been humming along in a relatively linear and predictable way—college, jobs, buying a house, marriage, launching my business.
When motherhood arrived, my life stopped feeling linear and predictable.
Instead it seemed to be progressing in little circles, like whirlpools all around me. Even if I could get out of the spin, I wasn’t sure I wanted to. My priorities changed radically.
I now had two new people in my life whom I loved more than anything in the world and wanted to spend as much time with as I could before they were all grown up. (My list included that and a full night’s sleep and “me” time, both of which were suddenly a thing of the past.)
Some personal growth journeys we are fortunate enough to be able to do at our own pace. We call the shots. Maybe we go on a retreat, take a class, get therapy, start meditating or embark on a new spiritual practice.
Then there are those journeys that challenge and stretch us in directions we didn’t even think of going (or were even capable of going). These are the adventures where the people in our lives become our greatest teachers, often without us even expecting them to be.
In my experience, children are those types of teachers. As with most such adventures, on the path of parenthood, we learn and grow, sometimes willingly, sometimes happily, sometimes resisting all the way. Here are just three of the infinite lessons I have learned and continue to learn from motherhood.
Lesson #1: Everything in life is a phase
Whether it’s potty training, learning to walk, having tantrums, rebelling, wanting endless cuddles, not sleeping through the night, or seeking independence as a tween, my kids continually remind me that everything changes–all the time. There is no magic formula, which, once we master, will ensure life will be perfect, blissful and stand still.
As a child, I think I believed adults were completely hatched. Since becoming a Mom, I have discovered that as adults, we too are growing, changing, developing, stretching, shifting and working out new stuff all the time.
The truth is, when life is challenging, it helps to remember that this too shall pass. We just have to do our best to get through it. This is not who we will be forever, and it will not be this way forever. These circumstances will pass, most likely as quickly and as unexpectedly as they arrived.
And when life is particularly sweet, it’s equally important to sit back, soak it up and enjoy the ride. The next phase may be even sweeter, but life (and we) will never be like this again.
Lesson #2: Each moment offers the opportunity to create a happy memory
As the years pass and our kids grow older, I often go to sleep wishing I had held them a little longer, listened a little more closely when they were talking, stopped my multi-tasking and looked them in the eyes.
While I often fall short of my intentions, being present with our children has always been something I’ve aspired to.
When they were toddlers, I used to set the kitchen timer for 15 minutes and set aside that time to really be with them—sit beside them, play with them, laugh with them, striving to be as present as possible, uninterrupted for 15 minutes.
Doing so with intention taught me a lot. I was amazed by how difficult it was to keep my mind from wandering, and how challenging it was to really listen instead of doing most of the talking.
What has brought me great comfort as the years have passed is that each moment offers a new opportunity to awaken to the preciousness of life. We can create a miraculous moment by simply glancing out our window, soaking up our child’s hug as she bursts out of school, or listening as he recounts what ignites his passion today.
Whether we are parents or not, each amazing moment captured into our memory bank can be enjoyed and re-enjoyed again and again, making life more and more wonderful.
Lesson #3: There is no perfect
As a longtime recovering perfectionist, perhaps the greatest, most important thing I have learned from our children is that there is no perfect. There is no perfect child, perfect parent (or parenting technique), perfect house, perfect marriage, perfect friend, perfect job or perfect life.
Through the unconditional love and acceptance that comes from the innocence of a young child, I am reminded again and again that we can only do our best, and our best changes moment to moment.
Our kids have also taught me that it is often imperfections, mistakes, and unexpected surprises that weave life into a true work of art—a true masterpiece.
Since becoming a parent, I now believe more than ever before that each child is born into the world with his or her own special something. Each person has gifts to offer and a special way of being that no one else has or will ever have again. At the same time, we each have areas of our psyches that will challenge us, perhaps for the rest of our lives. But those challenges and gifts are exactly what make life (and parenting) so interesting!
Our beautiful children are their own people who will someday embark on their own journey of managing their lives, and finding ways of sharing their unique gifts with the world. May they always that they, like each of us, make the world a better place by just being who they are.
For more ways to connect with your inner wisdom, check out the 28-Day Challenge.
Here is an article you might enjoy about being confident.
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Copyright © 2020 Laurie Smith. All Rights Reserved. Photo credits: Sergiy Bykhunenko, Nadya Eugene, Levranii, Alexandralaw1977/Shutterstock