The Life-Changing Power of Boredom

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”

-Proverb

I have a memory of when I was about four or five years old. I was home with my father and I was bored. Very bored.

So, I went up to him and asked, as most children do, for him to please fix it.

I think it probably went something like this: “Daddy, I’m sooooo bored!!!”

My father stopped whatever he was doing, sat down with me at the kitchen table, took out a pen and paper and made a list of all the things I could do.

I was fascinated by the ideas he came up with. I had no idea there were so many options! My father was a very creative man.

Plus, I’m sure I enjoyed the attention he was giving me during the process of making this oh-so long and very inventive list.

Then it was back to work. He returned to whatever he had been so busy with, and I went off to do whatever I had chosen.

Sitting With Boredom

I have learned a lot about boredom since that time.

When my kids now come to me with a similar complaint, I have a more hands-off strategy.

It starts with a smile.

Then I say: “That is so wonderful! I can’t wait to see what you will create next!”

While this is often responded to with a dramatic rolling of the eyes and stalking off in some direction far away from me, the truth is, I really mean it.

I love when our kids are bored (without media to distract them).

That’s because, often within a half hour of this brief conversation, their boredom is gone, and they are deeply involved in some creative pursuit.

Some of the products that have unexpectedly emerged from bouts of boredom in our home have included:

• An Egyptian museum, complete with handmade artifacts displayed with masking tape of every inch of a hallway
• The Land of Sodor recreated with construction paper on the living room floor
• An original Broadway production with script written, costumes created and tickets being sold for $1
• A horror movie involving sharks, Barbie dolls and ketchup in the bathtub
• Imaginary race horses doing a jump circuit around the entire house
• Self published storybooks with staples for binding
• Rearranged bedrooms
• Plans for future parties, complete with decorations, guest lists and schedule of events.

Plain and simple, what they end up doing is almost always something I never could have thought up for them.

The Other Side of Boredom (and Life)

In today’s culture of being valued by who is busy, busier and busiest, we rarely receive instruction to do nothing when we are bored.

No one ever says, “You are bored? That’s great! Go get more bored.”

Rarely are we are we ever taught to marinate in our boredom.

However, according to reports from the likes of Einstein, Disney and anyone who has ever created a masterpiece, staying with the state of being in between is exactly what we often need to do our best work.

There is really no difference, I have discovered between being bored with our lives, jobs, or relationships, or a moment in time.

All provide the right ingredients for fruitful, positive, creative, productive change.

The problem is, most of us are not comfortable sitting with a loved one for too long, to say nothing of boredom.

When we feel boredom, it is human nature to run to whatever we can to escape. We check our phone. We answer emails. We make a phone call. We go running to someone and ask what we should do.

Others are often happy to prematurely push us into action, if we aren’t doing it ourselves.

Bosses and teachers rarely like to see their employees or students looking bored.

Marketers prey on our little problem by offering a menu to pick from, luring us away from our boredom with whatever they are trying to sell.

Boredom Can Be a Turning Point

Unfortunately, running from our boredom may be costing us more than just a creative breakthrough. It may be costing us a turning point that could change our lives.

In my experience, boredom is like winter. It’s a sign that something new and unpredictable is brewing just beneath the surface. It’s just not ready yet.

Boredom can serve us much like a vacation. While holding up our nodding head may be a lot less fun than hanging from a hammock, the two have a lot in common.

When we are bored, all of our physical responses seem to slow down.

We might even think we are depressed. In fact, if we don’t realize that boredom is one of the most fruitful states, the sheer basis for a creative turnaround, invention or unexpected discovery, we may try to medicate it.

When I have run from boredom, I have created more crises. I have blamed others for my feelings and created lots of personal drama to distract me along the way.

When I have chosen to sit with boredom, sometimes I experienced something that felt like depression. Other times, I got sick and had to stop my momentum and lie in bed. I now realize these were my body’s way of slowing me down enough to face how bored I was, and to give me a rest before the surge of energy and creativity that was coming.

Often, about three to six months after I have experienced a state of complete and miserable boredom in a job or business, a new job or business idea or opportunity came along and landed in my lap, dramatically changing the course of my life.

I’m not saying it was fun. There is nothing worse than being in a really boring phase of life, and being forced to do nothing. It’s like a big bored cake with boredom icing.

But, just like what happens when a caterpillar enters a chrysalis, sometimes it is only from staying with ourselves through a period of darkness or inertia that allows the healthy growth and renewed energy necessary to handle what is coming next.

If You Feel Bored

Here are some questions to help you discover what might be ready to be created through you.

• If your boredom had a voice, what might it be trying to say?
• What does your boredom want you to be doing instead? (Most likely, it is something pretty important.)
• What about being bored makes you most uncomfortable?
• What types of activities bring you most joy?
• What exactly bores you most right now? (Try  drilling down to the minute actions or tasks that you find the least interesting.
• If you could change that one thing, would you still be bored?
• How would you describe your boredom, exactly? Every emotional experience has a unique nature. When we can clearly and specifically describe how we are feeling, we assist our energy in moving through this state to something new.
• What other emotions are you feeling? (In other words, if you weren’t so busy feeling bored, how else might you be feeling?
• If your boredom had a color, a voice, a personality, another name, what might they be?
• What is an advantage or gift that could come from sitting with (however boring that may be) rather than trying to escape your boredom?
• If boredom were a way your most creative, wisest, brilliant self were using to try to get your attention, what message would she or he be trying to tell you?
• What is something you wish you were doing differently in your life right now?
• What is one small step you can take toward that wish right now?

Like any emotional state, this too shall pass. And when it does, the world will be a better place as a result of what you create.

Photo credit: Andy-pix/Shutterfly