3 Powerful Ways to Make A Tough Decision
Have you ever had to make a tough decision and truly didn’t know what to do?
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I am so focused on what I “should” do that it is difficult to hear that small soft voice within that knows what is best for me.
A few years ago, I was in this exact situation.
I was sharing my struggle with a friend.
After listening to me for awhile, she said to me, “It sounds like you’ve already made your choice.”
I was surprised because I felt as confused as ever.
Have You Already Made Your Choice?
I have often thought of her words when faced with difficult choices.
Sometimes just talking things over with a close friend or confidant can help us hear our own truth.
Other times, however, hearing our own truth can be a lot more difficult, especially when we are also faced with others’ expectations, anxieties, fears, doubts or something we’ve never had to deal with before.
Three Decision-Making Experiments
If you are at this point in any area of your life, here are three experiments you might want to try.
(If you do, I’d love to hear what happens! You can email me at Laurie[at]LaurieSmith.com or comment below.)
These are fun ways to shift your brain into a new way of looking at an old problem. When we are in a playful state rather than a worried one, we often have more access to intuitive guidance and our true inner voice.
Decision-Making Technique #1: Notice How Your Body Feels
Close your eyes and try to imagine how you will feel if you choose one of the choices being offered.
Pay attention to how your body feels as you do this. Are your muscles tight? Relaxed? Is your jaw tense or are you feeling relaxed and giddy? Is the energy in your body heavy or light? Depressed or happy? Do you feel more or less healthy?
Now do the same thing as you imagine each of the choices.
The body rarely lies. Most likely, the one where your body feels most well is the right one for you.
Decision-Making Technique #2: Find a Symbol
When we are making a decision that is really tough, it can help to ask ourselves:
How do you want to feel after the decision has been made?
Get really specific. How do you want to feel after you have made your choice?
Now come up with a symbol that represents this desired emotional state.
It doesn’t really matter what the symbol is. Usually the first thing that comes to mind is perfect. It just has to feel right and represent something about how you want to feel after you’ve made your choice.
(Symbols are how our unconscious mind and intuition communicate with us. When coming up with a symbol that represents your desired future emotional state, it doesn’t have to make sense. It might be a letter, a shape, a color, something you have seen before or something you just invented. It could look like a person or character, a common object like a clover, a crystal, a baseball, a color or something else.)
Now the fun starts.
Imagine this symbol while also imagining you have chosen one of your options.
You might want to close your eyes.
Repeat this exercise (imagining the symbol and while also imagining each different option).
Notice what happens to the symbol in each scenario.
For example, did your symbol get darker or brighter? Did it lessen in energy or change in some way?
(One time when I did this, the symbol I chose was a plant. When I imagined doing one of my options, I had a vision of the plant dying. Other times, the response is much more subtle.)
Everything is information. Just pay attention and see what you notice.
Decision-Making Technique #3: Tell Yourself a Story (The Index Card Trick)
Another great technique is based on the teachings of Nancy Rosanoff, author of The Intuition Workout. I had the privilege of doing a week-long training with Nancy, a gifted teacher who demonstrated highly intuitive abilities at a very young age.
For this technique, write the three options you are considering on the back of index cards, or small, equal-sized pieces of paper. Turn the cards over and mix them up so you don’t know which is which.
Now it’s time to tell yourself a little story.
Holding the first card in your hand (face down so you can’t see the choice written on the opposite side), close your eyes and imagine you are opening a door. What do you notice? Do you want to go through? What is on the other side? Is the space glowing and filled with light, or does it look dark and ominous inside?
Write your experiences down on the blank side of the card you are holding. Do not flip it over and see which option is written on the reverse side.
Now choose the next card and tell yourself the same story, all the time keep the card flipped over so you don’t know which option is on the other side.
Continue doing this exercise until you have done the visualization exercise for each card, remembering to write your notes on the reverse side of each after you have completed.
When you have led yourself through the story for each card, flip them over and see which option is on the reverse side of each card. While it might seem crazy or random, our intuition often is able to communicate with us in this way because it bypasses our rational mind.
After reading your notes, do you have any new insights or perspectives about your choices?
What’s Keeping You From Deciding?
If none of these techniques help, it’s very likely that something else is going on.
Maybe it’s not time yet to decide. Could you need another piece of information that you don’t have yet?
Sometimes we resist making a decision because of fear. We can be afraid of many things—failing, the work involved, even succeeding.
It can be very difficult to make a decision when we are being harassed by negativity, an inner boogeyman or if we have internalized other people’s voices and think they are our own.
A fun way to bypass our resistance is to again, access our sense of play.
You may see your inner resistance represented as a symbol or fictitious character.
Ask this aspect of yourself if it has a message it wants to offer you.
Dealing with Fear or Doubt
Sometimes what is preventing us from moving forward may be a wound that we haven’t yet healed. Maybe in the past, when we made a similar decision for our own well-being, we were scolded or hurt in some way.
It’s important to remember that was in the past. We survived. This time, the story can be different. We may need to comfort or reassure ourselves the way we would a young child.
Once we see our fear or doubt for what it is, we are often able to hear our truth much more easily. We also feel much lighter, happier and healthier too.
Sometimes doing clearing work like this can require professional support. Consider seeking help from a therapist, life coach, or spiritual guide or healer if you find certain decisions particularly challenging.
We Already Know What Is Best
When are really struggling when making a decision, it can be helpful to consider that we almost always already know what is best for us. Try to resist letting others tell you what is best, or what to do.
It can take a lot of courage to risk disappointing others, or having people misunderstand us or reject us as a result of honoring our own truth within.
Sometimes, the courage we need isn’t about others at all, but instead about our willingness to own our truth and believe in ourselves.
The more we practice tuning in and honoring our inner wisdom, the easier following the path of our best life will be.
There is No “Wrong” Decision
At end of the day, it’s important to take the pressure off ourselves. We can only do our best with the information we have.
Every path offers us gifts. There really is no wrong decision to be made when we are doing our best and following our heart.
We are each always doing the best we can, and our best changes within every moment, depending on what we are experiencing, how we are feeling and how well we are taking care of ourselves.
When things don’t go quite as we expected or the way we wanted them to go, it’s important to remember that new opportunities are always presenting themselves.
Most importantly, no matter how far we wander down life’s path, no choice can ever take us away from ourselves.
© 2020 Laurie Smith, All Rights Reserved. Photo credit: ESB Professional/Shutterstock
